


Dear Ev

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Letters, M/M, Secret Admirer, Soft Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Suicide Attempt, Sweaters, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26224495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Evan starts getting letters and gifts from one of his classmates.But who the hell is sending them?
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 113





	Dear Ev

**Author's Note:**

> Do I have other things to work on? Yes. Am I working on them? No.

Evan honestly gets nervous every time he wears turtle necks. He loves them, but people instantly assume that you're an artsy person or gay.

Evan is neither.

Okay, he's bi, but still.

Alas, he runs out of normal sweaters for school, so he's stuck with turtle necks.

He's actually feeling good about it today. No one seemed to be paying attention. Jared made a comment, but Jared would have said something no matter what.

As he opens his locker after school a paper drops to the floor. Evan is pretty organized with his papers, which means someone left him the paper. He unfolds the sheet and starts reading.

_Dear Ev,_

_Not going to lie, you looked kind of anxious walking in this morning. I noticed the turtle neck, and if that's what you were worrying about...don't. It is actually very cute on you. You have a very good taste in sweaters, I cannot find any that fit me properly. I'm kind of jealous if you can't tell, I want to rock a sweater but I can't._

_Anyway, I'm probably creeping you out so I'll stop writing and just put this in your locker before I embarrass myself even more._

_Love,_

_Me_

Um. So...someone is clearly pranking him.

Evan's instant response is Jared, but the hand writing is too curvy to be his. Jared constantly writes like it his hand writing isn't sharp he's going to die.

Someone is messing with him, and he doesn't like it.

A few days later another paper falls to the floor. Evan actually stopped wearing sweaters so he didn't get comments on them. He might be cold all day, but he hates being someone's joke.

_Dear Ev,_

_Did you stop wearing sweaters because of me? I didn't think you looked bad. In fact, I said you were cute. Please don't suffer in this cold ass school because of me. It's stupid that sweaters made me start writing to you, but I've been thinking about it for months and then turtle neck day just propelled me._

_Please bring back sweater Evan, it's a cute Evan. Or don't. I don't control you._

_Sorry this is weird._

_Love,_

_Me_

Whoever is doing this is very dedicated to making him uncomfortable.

For a few weeks the notes stop. Evan starts dressing appropriately for the weather again and starts to think that maybe things will be normal again.

Until he opens his locker and an envelope falls out. Inside is a magnet that looks like a tree along with a note.

_Dear Ev,_

_Yay! You started wearing sweaters again! Omfg you're cute with them I have a problem._

_I kind of realized that you probably think that I'm fucking with you. I mean, if someone started sending me nice notes I would go fucking nuts. Lemme just say, I've had a crush on you for like two years and I'm just a wimp who couldn't say anything._

_(Also you're probably straight sooooo)_

_Sorry if this weirds you out. I'm genuine with my feelings here, and having this one sided conversation is actually really helping my brain not be like...bad. Everyone fucking hates me and I like seeing how you react to these, except when it's bad obviously. I'm not a total dick._

_You don't need my emotional baggage, I just want to try and prove that I do actually like you and mean no harm from my notes. I think I'll start sending them daily maybe? I don't know, but these make me feel good so...yeah._

_Oh, I hope you like the magnet! I remember you talking about trees for our "How was your summer" shit when school started._

_Yeah I'm going to go back to hiding my gay ass from the world now._

_Love,_

_Me ❤_

Okay, so...the person was male. And they shared at least one class. Wait he thinks he's straight? Evan grabs a piece of scratch paper and scribbles a note before sticking it to the shelf of his locker. It won't get missed when he comes back.

_You,_

_I'm bi. It's a recent thing so I'm kind of quiet about it._ A _nd I'm just saying that if you like me you're crazy because I'm literally plain toast and yes I'm scared because I don't know who the hell you are and that's weird to me._

_Why do you like sweaters though? I look so gross ngl._

_Thanks for the magnet,_

_Evan_

There. All his thoughts on one note. He uses the magnet to hold the paper in place, so whoever is writing him knows he likes it.

The daily letters start coming. Evan doesn't respond to them, he doesn't see a need. The letters start coming before school even starts, and having them is a confidence booster.

_Dear Ev,_

_Shut up you're beautiful I would smack you if I wasn't so scared honestly you're like a fucking angel and I cannot handle it!_

_I look gross in sweaters but you look good okay?_

_Okay like...your eyes. How are they that green? You're a fucking alien they are so green I swear. And your face is just...I cannot look at you for that long because it would give me away I'm so gay._

_Love,_

_Me_

_Dear Ev,_

_I'm being too direct with my feelings I know but like...you don't know who I am so you can't stop me._

_School sucks, I swear I'm only going because of the stupid letters. The teachers suck and aren't interested, and most of what we learn isn't helpful. I love literature, but why am I studying plays when I could be learning how taxes work? We aren't taught basic life skills and it pisses me off honestly._

_And then they call us stupid because we want to learn the right things. Ugh! Boomers are the worst I swear!_

_Okay, I'm done ranting._

_Love,_

_Me_

Sometimes the letters had gifts inside.

_Dear Ev,_

_Made you a sketch. It's not that good but like...you were in perfect position so fight me. I say "but like" a lot don't I?_

_Sorry, that's bad. Oh, the pride pin is for you too. Don't feel pressured, it's just cuz you told me, promise._

_I've suddenly become obsessed with the Sims 3 lately, don't know why. I never played before, and I found my sister's old PS2 disk and I just...went into the basement and played for the whole night. Might have accidentally found out how to cheat so my family lives in a nice house._

_I'm weird, I know._

_Love,_

_Me_

They kept coming for months. All through the winter, it quickly became Evan's favorite part of the day. He didn't throw away any of them, he even brought in a folder to store them in. They sketch of him was in the folder, and the pride pin was in another pocket. Everything was good.

And then the letters stopped.

Okay, occasionally the writer would skip a day because nothing interesting was happening, but this was going on three days. Five counting the weekend.

After two weeks they started coming again.

_Dear Evan,_

_Hi. Um...things aren't good right now. I was in the hospital for a while. I'm just sad all the fucking time and my family won't take me seriously. They think I'm just being dramatic, to a point where they got mad for me being in the hospital._

_I'm sorry this is really sad but you just, deserve to know I guess? I know we aren't actually friends, but I like thinking you're my friend. You're the only person I've made smile in a few years, and it feels good._

_You're awesome, actually. I'm sure you have flaws, but I can't find them._

_xxx-xxx-xxxx_

_Thanks,_

_Me_

The phone number wasn't expected, but Evan doesn't hesitate to put it into his phone.

**Hi?**

**Evan?**

**Yep!**

**Hi**

**I shouldn't have given you my number that was so stupid**

**nonononononono it's fine**

**Promise!**

**Really?**

**Ur crazy**

**You don't even know who I am**

**So? Ur nice to me**

**no one else really is**

**Yeah you have shitty friends ngl**

**I don't have any friends**

**except maybe you**

**how are you feeling?**

**Not good? Better than last week**

**It sucks total ass**

**yeah**

**Life does tht.**

***that**

**are you going to stop sending me notes now?**

**No ur cute and they make me feel good I'm not going to stop**

**They just might not be as peppy as they used to be.**

**Look, do what makes you happy. I love getting the letters, honestly. If you ever want to talk just text me or smth? Oky?**

**Yeah**

**Thanks Ev**

**Np!**

And they did start texting regularly. Daily pretty much. Usually after Evan read the letter of the day. It was fun.

_Dear Ev,_

_I'm bored as hell, and don't want to listen to the history teacher, so I'm writing you._

_Have you ever listened to Amy Winehouse? She's my favorite artist right now, and I completely forgot about her music until recently. She was wonderful, honestly._

_Dude I saw you bump into your locker yesterday because you were reading and I could barely hold in my laughter, it was so damn cute._

_If you ever actually see me you're totally going to hate me, I know it. I'm not a nice person, at all. Very bad influence actually. I don't care how old we are, our brains are always impressionable and can be changed with bad choices._

_Take me for example. I used to be a good student. I didn't skip, passed all my classes, and respected the teachers. Now? I'm a pot head, skip regularly, and I'm failing math. I also hate teachers now._

_That's why I don't want to meet you, you'll be very upset that I am the guy who has been crushing on you for two years. You might think I'm wrong, but I'm not._

_Everyone hates me._

_Love,_

_Me_

It sucks, knowing that this person is hurting so much. Evan pulls out his phone.

**I want to meet you**

**No joke, you're actually nice to me and you make it your goal to make me smile, even if you aren't who I expected I still want to be actual friends with you and know you.**

**You don't mean that**

**you just think I'm going to hurt myself**

**Yes, I'm worried about you, but I do want to meet you**

**I don't exactly have a reason to lie about that**

**keep saying that**

**Youll change ur mind**

**I know it**

**SO...tomorrow?**

**Fine**

The next morning is freezing. Evan throws in a teal colored sweater before leaving, excited to meet whoever has been writing to him.

His locker is vacant at school, no one is waiting for him.

Maybe he will come after school?

"Evan?"

Evan jumps around, Connor Murphy is standing a few feet away. He looks miserable.

"See, I told you you'd hate me but--"

Evan grabs his hand, silencing Connor.

"I don't hate you," Evan states. "Thank you for doing all this, I can't imagine how scary this was for you. You're a great guy."

Connor opens his mouth to speak when Jared marches over.

"Connor, get the fuck away, you are not allowed to harass other people."

Evan is baffled, "He's not harassing me!"

Jared gives him a look, eyeing their hands, "Oh, so he's your boyfriend now?"

Evan really just wants to put him in his place, "Would it be hard to believe?"

"Yeah Jared," Connor scoffed, wrapping an arm around Evan's shoulders.

Jared backs off, and Evan starts laughing, "He's so incompetent."

Connor nods, putting his arm back down, "I don't...why are you even friends with him?"

Evan shrugs, opening his locker. He's probably going to be late for class.

"Oh," Evan motions to Connor's sweater. "I told you that you could pull off a sweater."

Connor follows him to class, they actually share most of the day together. The two sit next to each other, earning them some looks. Around lunch Connor's sister pulled him aside.

"I heard you're dating my brother, is that true?" Zoe asks. "If he's forcing you to be with him, just let me know. I won't hesitate to get him to back off."

"No one is forcing anyone," Evan peeps, scared of the aggressive girl.

Her escapes without further questioning and finds Connor sitting at a table alone. Evan sits next to him and explains the situation.

"Kleinman shares anything that could be drama, not surprising," Connor sighs.

"But now the whole school is going to think we're dating."

"Sorry."

"Well, it's not exactly a problem. I've never been friends with someone as nice as you, and I like you. You pretty much admit on the daily that you like me, why not give them something to gossip about?"

Connor doesn't look happy, "Don't fuck with me like that, I know that I'm disgusting, don't rub it in."

Evan can't believe Connor thinks so poorly of himself, Evan has had his moments, but never this bad.

"I'm not messing with you," Evan whispered, grabbing Connor's hand. "I have no reason to do that."

With that he leans forward, attempting to kiss Connor. Their noses bump together, but Connor gets the idea and tilts his head. Their lips catch and Connor is cupping Evan's face with his hands. Evan smiled into the kiss, feeling Connor vibrate beneath him. They pull back before a teacher can yell at them, but they know a majority of the school saw.

"We should go outside," Connor grins, running his thumb across Evan's hand.

Evan complies, letting Connor lead him out of the cafeteria. There are outside eating places, but no one goes during the winter. The two sit in a secluded spot and start kissing again. No one can stop them out here.

Connor has taken charge, pushing Evan down on the bench and crawling on top of him. This isn't gentle like in the cafeteria, Connor seems so desperate to make what's happening real in his mind. The taller boy's lips trail down, biting at Evan's pulse point.

"N-No marks," Evan groans, trying to push Connor's head back.

"Just wear a turtle neck," Connor murmurs, darkening the bruise.

"Okay," Evan sighs.

The two don't separate until the bell rings. But then they still held hands the whole way to class.

And if they kissed before parting, who could blame them?

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_You're literally the most amazing thing in my life, thank you. I could not stop smiling all afternoon and Zoe looked so annoyed when I talked about you during study hall. I'm so happy right now, honestly, best day of my life._

_I love you, you know that. It's way too soon for you to feel the same, but I love you._

_Sorry I'm so weird it's part of who I am._

_Love,_

_Connor_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be designing an official Becca the Biscuit Baker logo soon! I'm so excited!


End file.
